Success is a word we hear constantly in our society, and probably ranks as one of the most popular words in self-help book titles.  If you are in business, in a marriage, on a diet, buying a house, going on a date, going to an interview, cooking a meal, organising an event or any other form of project, you will want it to be a success.  But what does success actually mean?  How do you measure whether a project has been successful?  How can we define success?

 We all want success, yet not all of us view it in the same way.  What counts as success to one person could be a failure to another.  For example, we’ve all heard of people who count coming second in a race as a failure.  Yet, many would see this as a success. 

 We all have our own personal definitions of success, or successful people.  While many would describe a successful person in terms of financial wealth, others might use personal achievement or contribution to humanity as a measure.  Is there really a definitive answer?  Would those people who define success in terms of money count Ghandi or Mother Theresa as failures?

 In order to be successful, we need to know exactly what we mean by success.  That is, we must define success on our own terms and what it means to us, rather than what it means to anyone else.  It is all very well to strive for a particular thing if that is important to you, but if you are doing it to suit your parents’ or other mentors’ definitions of success, can you honestly say that it is a personal success for you?

 Many of us set our terms of success too high, so that we can only ever see them being fulfilled way in the future, or perhaps not at all.  Of course, it’s good to have long term goals, but we all achieve something every day and if we don’t recognise or acknowledge these small progressions, how will we have the confidence to achieve the larger goals?  If my aim is to be a successful writer, am I only a success once I have a book published and it’s on the bestseller lists?  No.  For me, being a successful writer is a question of whether I am actually writing or not!  If I write every day, then I am successful every day.  Of course, having my book published and selling well is also a long term goal; one definition of success does not cancel out another.

 How do you choose your own definition of success?  It all depends on what is important to you and this may include life values, such as integrity, broadmindedness, humour and independence.  Write a list of your own important values and make sure that these are in keeping with your goals.  When did you last feel happy and proud of yourself?  What were you doing, or what had you achieved?  What values were being fulfilled?

 If you want to be a success in life there are many resources, such as life coaching, or online websites such as Success University.  But first you must define success on your own personal terms.  Then, and only then, can you take action to achieve it, and achieve it daily.

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